Stuff Jesus Wouldn’t Say at Youth Group (part 2)

A couple years back, I wrote an article with tongue entirely in-cheek entitled Stuff Jesus Wouldn’t Say At Youth Group. Since then, I’ve had several more “inspirations” for funny things you’d NEVER hear Jesus say at Youth Group. Here’s the list…

Can we wrap this up soon? I’m missing The Walking Dead. 

Ok, you caught me…I actually not using my bible app on my phone, I’m on snapchat. 

Do we really have to take prayer requests? My Dad already knows what we need.

You thought the fish and loaves trick was good? Wait until you see what I do with this pizza!

I’m not really “feeling” these worship songs tonight.

[written in a note] Do you like Jesus? Circle yes or no.

Sorry I missed the last three weeks. I’ve had walking-on-water practice. I’m going to make varsity this year!

This lesson? Hashtag BORING!

Did you hear about Mary? She’s my bae and all, but she’s cray cray!

I can’t give my money to offering – we’re going to Taco Bell after youth group

Just remember – What Would I Do?

So, what is some stuff you’d never hear Jesus say at youth group?

Bill Nance

Bill Nance

Founder and President at Student Ministry Stuff
Bill Nance is a 15 year veteran of youth ministry, having served in churches across the midwest. He currently works at a non-profit organization that works with churches and other agencies that serve hungry people. He also spends time writing, training, and speaking to help youth ministries across the country. If you are looking for a talented speaker for your next youth ministry event, consider booking him today!
Bill Nance

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Posted in Humor, Jesus, Sayings, youth group.