What the church communicates as important
If you’ve worked with teens in church for any length of time, perhaps you’ve heard someone say they following to you…
“Those teens keep talking during church!”
“They were passing notes during the sermon!”
“Can’t you get those teens to come in from the foyer and sit in the pews?”
“Did you see how those kids dress? Why can’t they wear more church appropriate clothing?”
“The teens were causing trouble after Sunday School. Make sure they behave right!”
Likely you’ve heard something from well meaning (or less well meaning in some cases) individuals in your church. They look at your teens, see the outward behavior, and make judgments regarding them. The desire is to make the outward actions “Christian.” If the outward is clean, then we’ve been successful. The old “cluckers” aren’t the only ones guilty of this. We’re often guilty of this as well. We look at the outward behavior and pick out the “true Christians” from the “problem kids.” We reinforce this by commending the outward behavior – singing, praying in public, correct answers or rule following – and punishing bad behavior – talking, bad attitudes, wrong answers, etc.
The problem with focusing on the outside is that we communicate that behavior is the important thing. If they’re able to “act the part” then they’re good to go. We ignore the inside transformation – to our student’s peril.
Its hard to ignore outward behavior, because it is behavior is often a reflection of the inward reality. But don’t ignore the inner person. When you teach, talk about how it affects both outer and inner. When you compliment students, be sure to acknowledge the aspects of inner development you’ve seen as well as the outer behavior. And when others start to say, “Why don’t those teens…?” you say, “Yes, but they’re really loving Jesus and doing such and such.”
How do you recognize and reward inner growth in your teens?
Related posts: